after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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