Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize