respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Randomize