Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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