For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
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I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
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Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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