If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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