he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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