bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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