woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize