One girl and one boy is just not enough.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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