And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize