just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
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