you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize