Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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