we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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