Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize