gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize