when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
wat bout pragnant strippers??
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
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I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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