apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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