Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
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My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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