apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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