So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
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Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
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Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize