I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize