Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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