nut hugger
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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