just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
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I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
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Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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