i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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