i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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