YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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