My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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