My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize