Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize