Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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