Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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