Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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