i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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