Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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