why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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