Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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