no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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