you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize