dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize