Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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