I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize