I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
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I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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