that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize