The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize