she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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