If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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