Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize